Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Learning to Let Go

OK, OK, I admit. I am a perfectionist. It's no secret either, as I quickly aquired the nickname "anal Annie" at my previous place of employment. I am still not sure if that was a compliment or a put down... I guess we'll never know. But back to what I was saying...

Perfectionism runs through nearly everything I do, quite possibly to a fault. My work, my home, my cooking, my cleaning, you name it. Because of how it creeps into everything I do, it's probably been the hardest thing to overcome (do you really even overcome something like perfectionism anyway?!) in my new venture as a mom. There's all of the baby stuff; I want everything to be neatly organized and put in order of size. It was a nice thought before he was here, but 5 minutes to me is now like a pot of gold. Who has time for organizing clothes when you realize that 5 minutes may be all the time you have to take a shower before the baby starts crying because he's hungry?

Oh, and the shower thing. Leisurely showers that consume all of your hot water and then some are a thing of the past. I LIVE for the weekends where I don't have to have a monitor on the counter and I can just enjoy my time to make myself not smell like 1 day old spit up or urine. My goal since having Brayden is to be showered and in "normal" clothes by noon. So far, I've hit the mark every day. I may not have makeup on, and my hair may just be quickly dried, but by darn, I at least smell like mountain breeze (or whatever flavor body wash we have in the shower).

Before Brayden was here, Mondays (or Saturdays when I was working) was my "cleaning day". I cleaned the house from top to bottom; dusted, vacuumed, swept & mopped. Sometimes, if I was feeling venturous, I would actually dust THEN polish the furniture (you know, with almond oil). If you are gasping at disbelief, please re-read the first paragraph of this post. It will explain things. Cleaning too, has had to step back a bit. I now have different days. Some days, like yesterday, is just a day that I make it to the end of the day without crying from exhaustion (Brayden did not sleep through a single nap. Ahhh... the sound of a screaming child!). Today was sweeping and mopping day. Hopefully tomorrow I can dust and vacuum* (*weird side note from Anal Annie: you should always dust BEFORE you vacuum, that way any of the dust that is not collected on the dust cloth and falls to the floor is quickly vacuumed up and therefore kept from once again collecting on your furniture. For those who are less worried about dust, I recommend getting light stained furniture, as it will lessen the need for constant dusting). This weekend will be bathrooms (Drew usually helps me with the showers, and I have to say, that he actually does an excellent job!).

I guess all this is to say that being a mom has put me on the track of learning to let go. My day will never again be predictable (although I do have to give some credit to Babywise for giving me some sanity with a schedule!), but that's OK. Having a healthy baby boy who is the joy of our lives far outweighs my old priorities of strict regimented housework.

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