Wednesday, April 16, 2014

A Few Random Thoughts.

It's naptime, and I really should be trying to catch a few minutes of rest, I thought I'd type. I'll probably pay for this later when my kids are crazy and I am more than frazzled, but I have random things in my mind that will not go away until they are here on the internets.

In just a few short days Drew and I will go on a trip all alone, without children, for the first time since before Connor was born. I was reading my post from the last trip we took together (we went to Dallas), and I kind of laughed when I wrote that I hoped it wouldn't take us very long to plan another trip alone. This is one of those moments where life has a way of laughing at me. Also, trying to go away on a trip is infinitely more difficult when you have kids. We have been in a hustle and bustle of having wills made, medical releases documented, schedules coordinated, meals cooked and frozen, and caretaker duties split up. It's a lot to take in and process and coordinate, and I feel like I need a vacation just for the coordinating of little children alone. Praying that when I step on the plane next week I'll be able to relax and enjoy our time away.

Today marks the last meeting for a few of our weekly events, which means that summer is just around the corner. I have mixed feelings about summer this year. On the one hand, I could really use some non-structured week days and lazy days with my babies (where we're not snowed in during sub-zero degree days... winter 2013/2014 was BRUTAL to us). On the other, sometimes the non-structure leads to more melodrama in our home, and if there is one thing that is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me, it's a little bit of melodrama. The beginning of summer also marks the beginning of the end of Brayden being at home with me all the time, and I am just not sure I am as emotionally prepared for this as I thought. Come August, I'm almost positive that I'll be one of those moms crying in the Kindergarten hallway.

This week I have slowly been reintegrating back into social media. I had thought about writing an entire post on my month long abstinence from it, but the more I typed, the less I was convinced that it needed to be published. The hiatus was so good for me to realign my thinking and focus. While I do love social media and don't think I am in the camp that would drop it completely from my life, I also find that the more I am into it, the more my attitude is easily shifted into one that tends to complain more, focus less and become entrenched in other peoples lives more than my own. I've said many times and will say it again: social media is a double edged sword and must be used wisely. I so missed the many friends who I have made throughout the years, especially instagram. I didn't miss some of the whining and drama that is pretty much inevitable on any social media channel you're on. I did miss the ability to ask a question and get an almost immediate answer from a REAL person, not some freelance journalists paid post that Google seems to spit out at me (plus, twittering about an illness is much better than Googling, as twitter will rarely lead you to believe you have cancer if you google "springtime allergy sniffles in babies").

Lastly, but certainly not least, I want to put the spotlight on holy week. Unless you live holed up like a hermit and have not gotten out recently, it's Easter this Sunday. Easter is by far my favorite holiday. We have been going through the resurrection eggs with the boys, and since we're studying Matthew in BSF this year, we've pretty much been inundated with all things Easter. One thing that I've always hoped would remain clear in my blogging is that I am imperfect. Thanks to Pinterest and various internet channels, it's easy to assume that what is online is all encompassing. That there is nothing behind the words and that all that you see here is all that there is. While I am an open book on most accounts, there are parts of my life that are not shared in the public arena because they just aren't ready to be shared. There is so much more story than the words on this blog, the pictures on instagram and the humored tweets on Twitter. My story for the past 5 years has been one filled with so much joy, but it's also been filled with so much pain. My life is far from perfect, but I think that the imperfections is what makes it beautiful. Easter to me means Hope. Hope that Jesus came despite our flaws and our hurts and our imperfections. Jesus came to save us and to give us what we couldn't give or get or earn ourselves. He has come to rescue us. My life here on earth may not be perfect, but I am hopeful and living for the day when all these things pass away and everything is made new and whole again.
Also, as a sidenote: during dinner one night this week, Brayden (who has been doing the eggs during Sunday school at church), said "I love the last egg. It's the best one!" When I asked him why he said "because it's empty. And that means Jesus rose again after 3 days." Holidays are sweet to me, and even sweeter when I get to see them through the eyes of my kids. I'm so grateful that Brayden is beginning to connect the dots on all of the stories he has grown up hearing, and he is relishing in the beauty of the simple. That the stone was rolled away and that our God is not dead.

Are you celebrating Easter this weekend? I'd love to hear how you celebrate... let me know in the comments below!

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