Earlier this week, when Drew mentioned the idea of him taking the two older boys for a trip this weekend, and leaving me behind with only Tyler, I was slightly excited. I would finally be able to get through all of my winter clothes sorting, clean a house that was desperate for some TLC and get some ME time.
Drew and the boys left early Saturday morning and I started my hustle and bustle of cleaning, interrupted only by the eating needs of Tyler (why I ever thought having one baby at home with me was hard, I will never know). I finished cleaning and sorting and washing and folding in about 3 hours. And as I sat down on the couch and relished in the fact that it was all still clean, my heart sunk.
There in the midst of shiny clean floors, organized toy bins and spotless countertops, I realized that all of those things seemed so empty compared to the disorder, chaos and laughter that my boys bring to my home.
As I sat in church this morning it dawned on me that perhaps I've been focusing so much on the negatives that having littles in the house brings, that I am missing all of the positives. Kind of like if I sat at a table and decided to focus only on the leftover crumbs from the meal before, thus overlooking the beautiful table and the feast set before me. Sure, my boys bicker and fight just like any other set of siblings, but they also bring so much sweetness to my life that I wouldn't have otherwise. I love hearing them tell me I'm beautiful, talking to Brayden about heaven, or hearing all of Connor's awesome imaginative stories. I love getting hugs, kisses and hearing about their days when I tuck them into bed. I love being the one to kiss their ouchies, the one who can tell them that they are strong like Superman, and the one who they come to when they have something important to say (like talking about the big bugs they just caught) Those things and moments are something that I wouldn't trade for a model home that is free of clutter and noise.
So, I here I sit. 30 minutes away to welcoming two little tornadoes back home. I think God knew I needed the break, because I definitely feel refreshed. But He also knew I needed the reminder that sometimes I'm forgetting the whole picture, and that in order to enjoy the fun, silly moments with my babies, I have to endure the chaos and mess that accompanies it. Can't wait to hug these two goobers... I love them more than words....
6 days ago