This post will probably get a bunch of hits strictly from it's title, but I assure you that the faint of heart (read, men or those who have not yet bore children and cannot fathom aftermath of birth and breastfeeding) probably shouldn't read this. Unless ofcourse, you'd like to have a good laugh. Truth is, I've been contemplating this post for quite sometime. The words have been typed in my brain and scream to be permanently etched into my blog and the cyberworld that it lives in. I went back and forth... why on earth would I write about boobs? Who would want to read it? Will people think I am crazy? When I realized: this blog is for me. For me to remember the good, the bad, the ugly of my life so that years down the road I can look back and (hopefully) laugh at the things that happened to me/us. So who cares if I offend someone by chronicling my breast feeding extravaganza. If you don't want to read it, just click out of the window... it's really not that hard... I promise. So without further ado, I give you my boob thoughts.
Breastfeed. Breast is best. It's such a bonding time. I caved. I gave in to the whims of the granola loving earthy moms that told me to breastfeed. Well, actually I have always had the desire to do so, partly because I do feel like (if you can do it) it is the best, but also partly because formula is like buying packaged gold. I always tell Drew that if there are 2 things to be making, it's Tampons, Diapers & Formula. Doesn't matter how bad the economy is doing, people still need the stuff. Anyway, breastfeeding has been a good experience. For the most part. You know, besides the engorgement (that part where your boobs enlarge to the size of softballs and feel about as hard as pavement) and subsequent shrinking and stretching that took place. That, and the horrid nursing bras. I abhore nursing bras. They have terrible support, are incredibly uncomfortable, and well, they just don't feel like Vickie's. I love me some Victoria Secret bras, and will pay top dollar for them. Someone from the nursing bra department needs to get with Victoria Secret and create some kind of nursing boob Heaven. I promise that they will increase their profits tremendously if they do this. Moving on.
To be honest, I never had any problems in the beginning. I started each nursing session in fear, thinking this would be "the one" that would start the "bad phase" everyone had always told me about. Thankfully Brayden always latched well and my supply was (and still is) fabulously great. But no good track can go without a hitch. And my hitch has been teeth. 4 to be exact, with more impending their doom on my by the day.
It started with just 2 cute buds. Not that bad, I thought to myself. I mean, he still would bite me, but it didn't hurt has bad as my mind had made it out to be. Then the top two arrived. What has happened to my sweet child? Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, he turns into piranha baby, ready to bite, knaw and aniliate anything I have left from the aforementioned engorgement and shrinkage. The first time he chomped (actually it was more of a bite and pulling off), I literally screamed and swatted him. it was like a knee jerk reaction, not really thinking about who/what just bit me, other than that I now had shooting pains in my private chest area. Oh my word. It hurt so bad. That wasn't the only occasion, and sadly I cannot say that my reactions have gotten any better (I mean, who gets used to having their nipples bitten off?!). Sometimes, I'll even yell at Drew. You know, to see if he will come and subject himself to the kind of torture that I get to put myself through (4 times a day I might add!). Not that it happens every time, but it makes me feel like the pain of the situation is better expressed to Drew that way. Brayden is starting to understand, but when will he FULLY understand, if ever. Oh, in a few months? Well just great, since I plan on weaning him from breastmilk at age 1. He'll learn about 2 days before he weans, perfect timing for my sore, cracked nipples. That sensitivity in the showers people talk about in the beginning of nursing? Yeah, I got it about 9 months later.
And so, I find myself at a pivotal crossroads. I feel like I am 3/4 around the track and wanting to give up, but just not sure I am willing to subject myself to a daily allotment of pain. I have about a months worth of breastmilk stored, and so at the beginning of February, I plan on slowly weaning Brayden from breast to bottle/sippy cups. It's been a good journey, but I am ready to have my complete body back (not that I am fooled into thinking my boobs are not permanently altered-- a peek in the mirror tells me otherwise). Let the countdown begin.....
