Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Choosing What to Do About School.

You know when you're little and you swear on your bottom dollar (or perhaps it's penny since you don't have many dollars when you're little... at least I didn't) that you'll do things in life a certain way? I know when I was little that I always swore my kids would never go to public school, they'd be homeschooled all the way through to college and that if I didn't homeschool then I'd probably send them to a private school.

Enter reality.

I said those things before I had kids. And for some reason, it seems as though before you have kids you are a perfect parent, and when your baby pops out of your womb and cries, all of those "I swear I'll do..." things fly out of the hospital window and you're swung into a deep reality that you'd never thought you'd experience. See, when I swore I'd homeschool my children, I didn't have a strong-willed child that I battled with on a minute by minute basis. I didn't have two kids that were less than 2 years apart, which means that I spend most of my days running back and forth trying to choose which fire to put out first (thankfully the fire I speak of is figurative, although I would not put it past EITHER son to set a fire at some point in their childhood. At which point you'll find me checking into a mental institution and waving the white flag to parenthood). Those two realities have had me greatly question whether I was cut out for the homeschooling gig.

So the second option in my childhood dream for my kiddos was private school. I went to a small private school in high school and had a great experience. Thankfully my family was blessed with a bit of financial aid that made going to that school possible, and I know that both of them sacrificed in order for me to attend the school that I did, and I am eternally grateful for that sacrifice. Obviously finances are the elephant in the room when you talk about private school. But even if finances were of no concern for us regarding school, I'm not sure that I would choose that option for my boys. I just don't feel at peace when I think of sending my boys to a private school. I might feel differently if we lived in a part of the country that didn't boast of a great public school system, but for now, it just doesn't set well with me (or Drew).

And so we land on public school. The thing that, at one point in my life, I turned my nose to and ran in the opposite direction. Thing thing which I swore my children would NEVER step foot in. And yet, when I think about public school, I get excited about it. Like, giddy excited. It's weird but I just have this peace that public school is what we should do. I no longer view public school as something that I should run from, but something I should run TO. To be in the world, but not of the world. I don't want to shelter my boys. I want them to know that life is hard, and that there are many people who are not able to live like us. I want them to know that ALL people need Jesus, and that Jesus came for all. I am obviously cautious in my decision, and I'd be remiss to tell you that there are some minor concerns that I have in our decision. But for now... for now, I feel a peace that I am sure that only God can give us. And I know that the Lord will bless those who stay in His will. And so if His will is to go to public school, then go we will.

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