Friday, September 7, 2012

The Expectations of Motherhood {A Guest Post}.

Hi A Dollop Of My Life readers! My name is Lindsay and I blog over at You Are The Roots. I'm a first-time mom married to my high-school sweetheart, raising our sweet 14-month old little boy, Ethan, down in southeast Florida. I'm so excited to be here on Lindsey's blog today -- thank you so much for having me!

Being Ethan's mommy is nothing short of wonderful. Each day is a new and unpredictable adventure, packed to the brim with laughter, tears, fear and that butterflies-in-the-belly feeling of love for this magnificent little being who has completely captivated and changed your life. I've always been a stickler for schedules and plans. If I don't know what I have planned for dinner that evening or what time I'm supposed to be somewhere, I get all frantic. It's not my best quality. Just the sound of the word spontaneity is enough to send chills up and down my spine. I can't just "wing things." And, trust me, you don't want to see my blood pressure just thinking about this utter lack of control over my own life and agenda. However, as soon as I became a mother -- from that first moment the doctors shouted, "get the camera ready, dad!" -- I had to let some of this trepidation go. I had to accept the fact that in motherhood, nothing is set in stone and expectations? Well, expectations are almost laughable. Sometimes I look at the crazy string of events that occurred from Ethan's scary birth (four weeks early) on and think that maybe, somehow, this is my lesson to stop with the planning and the details and the expectations and just wing it like everybody else. Ethan is my daily reminder that, hey, you never know what will be splattered all over your clothing or when he'll feel like having The Great Meltdown Of '12 in the middle of Target. Expectations, I'm learning, really have no place in motherhood.
So what, I was put on strict bedrest three days before my maternity photoshoot? Life goes on. Or when my water broke the day before my scheduled c-section just as I finished eating a whole pizza and a dozen garlic rolls -- it's not like I've never thrown up before. Or when Ethan contracted RSV at 4-months old and really did a number on his respiratory system -- do I know how lucky we are to have the medical care we did so that his life was never in danger? Or his first birthday, when he wasn't supposed to have a cold, sore throat and double ear-infection -- well, at least he still got to snuggle a monkey, albeit apathetically.
I've found when talking to other moms, the thing we all struggle with -- even above lack of sleep -- is letting go of these expectations. As a result, we all tend to be so hard on ourselves. I try my hardest to force myself to sit back, take a deep breath and accept each day for what it is: a new, magical adventure that I get to share alongside of my sweet little boy with his big blue eyes and uncanny knack for imitating a cat's meow. No expectations, no strictly defined schedule. This is my shout-out to all mommies who find themselves laying in bed at night, feeling guilty or overly critical that something about their day didn't go as planned. You're doing an amazing job! -- and your little one? Trust me, they'd agree. Take time to enjoy the magic of motherhood and each new adventure that each day -- heck, each minute -- brings.

You Are The Roots


A Dollop of My Life Copyright © 2007 -- Template created by O Pregador -- Powered by Blogger