Thursday, April 29, 2010

Foot in Mouth: Writers Workshop

If foot in mouth were a disease, I'd definitely be diagnosed. It seems I am always saying things I shouldn't say, or should atleast wait to say. And I supposed the reason is that I tend to be one of those people who talks with no holds barred. The way I see it, truth is always more refreshing than lies. Even if they're white ones. However, society tends to mock my viewpoint, and I am slowly learning to only speak my mind to those who have given me the green light on my truthful ramblings. When I saw the prompt for putting your foot in mouth, I immediate thought back to a few years ago when I was (for the 5,503,202 time) perusing the aisles at Walmart. I saw an old coworker's wife in the hotdog section, debating which 'dogs to get with her kids. She looked about 6 months pregnant, which for me was exciting. As I turned onto the cereal aisle, I saw my old coworker (the husband of the lady in the hotdog aisle). As I approached him and he recognized me I said "It's SO good to see you! I just saw your wife on the other aisle and saw that she's pregnant... Congratulations!" 
(enter loud chirping crickets)
My coworker, obviously taken aback, says "Um, That must not have been my wife." Me, clearly not thinking on all cylinders that day, says back "OH it was her! Yall's kids were with her picking out hotdogs." My coworker (at this point clearly agitated, and perhaps a bit offended), says "Well, she's NOT pregnant." 
(crickets STILL chirping)
Me: "Well, perhaps I just saw someone else standing NEAR your kids. It was good to see you! I gotta go before this milk I just picked up spoils!" 
I literally headed straight for the checkout line, because I didn't want to run into my old coworker and his family again, scared that my coworker might tell his wife and then I get the good ol' "You thought I was pregnant stare down..." from his wife. From that moment on, I don't ask if someone is pregnant. Even if they look like they might deliver right there on the Walmart floor. Better safe than sorry.

Mama's Losin' It

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