Things I Find Myself Saying Lately...

"Please spit the roach out now. Thank you!"

"No, we don't eat leaves. Yes that's right. NO!"

"Please be gentle. Toby does not want his fur pulled out."

"Dada is at work. No he's not home yet. It's OK, he'll be home soon (this is said at 10am)."

"Keep your hands OUT of the trashcan."

"We DO NOT throw our food on the floor."

"Please don't feed Toby. He has his own food."

"Don't eat that dirt."

"No, we cannot have everything in the toy section."

"Brayden, that is your toy, not Toby's. Please don't throw it to Toby... (2 seconds later) Toby, drop Brayden's toy!"

"Toby, please don't share your food with Brayden."

"Yes, no-no is right. "

"That's so yucky!"

"Yes, "dis" is your penis. Now please stop playing with it."

"That's my belly button. Now please put my shirt down. Thank you!"