Thursday, March 31, 2011

Some Thoughts on the Paci Fairy, and other things.

Apparently the paci fairy is a big hit for all of the parents with little ones who have paci's! I hope that some of my "strife" with the paci will lead to someone else not having to deal with it. Afterall, that's why I blogged about her visits in the first place.

Last night was a little more rough than the first day. Brayden started crying immediately when we started praying, and pretty much didn't quit until 8pm (that's about 1 hour of crying). Ofcourse, he quit once I went in, consoled him, and scratched his back and sang Jesus Loves Me (he actually asked for this, asking for "back" and "my Jesus"... apparently my Mom did that while they were here and he fell in love with the bedtime ritual). I did this again around 10pm, and then he slept until 6:30. Still not sleeping in how he used to, but between the big boy bed transition and the paci transition, I figure I have a long haul of early mornings. {SIGH}.

Several of you have asked if I came up with the idea on my own. Not really. I read about it on another blog, and upon googling it last night realized that the paci fairy has a book and everything. I did create the story about her, and how she is Jesus' helper. I like to incorporate Jesus as much as I can. I am very much of the mindset that I will not remove some of the make believe characters that children think are real (ie, Easter Bunny, Santa, tooth fairy, etc), however I want them to not be what the event or holiday are revolved around. Sadly, I have had several friends over the past 3 years who have lost babies, either before or after birth, so my heart is always thinking about those babies and those mommas. The removal of the paci seemed a fitting way to fit those very real precious ones whom I think about daily, into Brayden's life and thought process, ever so innocently. So that's basically how I came up with the story.

We'll see how Brayden does today with the no paci thing... he's asked for them several times since the paci fairy came, but when I remind him, he tends to be OK with it. He's at Mothers Day Out today, so I'll be interested to see how he does during a nap in a different place than his own home.

As for me, I am honestly shocked with how smoothly it has gone. Sure, he still cries, but I kind of expected it. Perhaps because my expectations were SO low, that the result really had not other way but to succeed in my eyes! I will admit that on that first night when we were tucking him in and he was crying that my heart was grieved. I had to choke back the tears actually. For you see, this is the first sense of real loss that my child has ever experienced. And in some ways, I am inflicting it on him. It's one of the parts of parenting that really sucks. In some ways (definitely not all), I want him to remain a baby forever. I feel like this entire process is a small taste of what it means to really parent; I'm not here to hold his hand through life forever. I have to teach him to be what a big boy, and eventual adult, is all about. Just typing that makes me teary eyed. For I know, in the not too distant future, it will be something else, something bigger that we're trying to teach. And then all too soon, he'll be a big boy and won't need me anymore. Ackk... I can't talk about this anymore. It's making me all mushy :) I'll finish my thoughts on this later...

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