Thursday, May 27, 2010

Wishing Out

Have you ever stopped to think about how every part of our lives, we tend to wish ourselves out of our present phase? Well, maybe you don't, but I know I do. I mean, just think about it. When you're in elementary school, you wish you were in high school. And when you're in high school, you wish you were in college. When you are in college, all you can think about is being an adult and being DONE with school. Perhaps in college you dream of finding that special someone. Then you find them, and you wish that you could just be married. Then you get married, and you wish that you could just have kids. Then you have kids, and you wish that they would just grow up. Then you wish that you were back at elementary age so you didn't have kids, could sleep whenever you wanted, and your biggest worry was if your mom package bologna or PBJ. It's like a mad vicious cycle, and quite frankly, I am sick of it.

I am sick of being sick and tired of where I am in life. I want to be able to step back and say "I really don't want time to move." And in fact, if I look back to the different stages, I'd love to say to myself (my then self, not myself now): just enjoy it! Enjoy every minute. Because it passes by way too fast and you'll end up wanting to be right back where you are now anyway.

I am trying to learn to enjoy the everyday monotony that comes with being a SAHM.  I am learning to smile with Brayden asks me to read the same book for the 30 millionth time and trying to realize that someday I'll look UP at him and wonder if he'll ever want me to read to him again. Trying to realize that someday Drew and I will be old and grey, and I don't want to look back and think I've taken our lives and love for granted. We have it so great. We really do. I mean, sure we have our flaws, and we definitely have parts of our lives that are less than glamorous, but I think if we're all honest, no one has a truly glamorous life. Not even the people in Hollywood. In fact, I would probably argue that theirs are the least glamorous of all of us.

And, well, that's what's been on my heart. Like it or leave it, but I hope you'll at least ponder what you're wishing yourself out of. Because it may just be something that you will one day wish you could have back.

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